The hidden secrets of influencing

 

Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash

Introduction:

Sales and marketing are concepts that usually are associated with business and corporate. In life, however, we are all marketing and selling. The product may or may not be any good or service. Getting the other person to act as we want is a skill that has a huge potential upside for us. We may have any profession, but this particular skill is vital as we move ahead in our career.

Influencing is getting someone to see your viewpoint or affecting his way of thinking to bring about a behaviour change. It has always been an art, but Robert Cialdini in his book “Influence" has given us the science behind the art of persuasion.

The weapons of influence are consciously and unconsciously at play all around us. The question is "Why do require to study them in the first place"? Firstly, all of us would like to have more influence in our business and families. Secondly, our lives have not kept pace with our external world. We have the same neural hardware that we had thousands of years ago. We are processing large amounts of data, something our ancestors did not need to. With our attention and cognition stretched to the maximum we are looking for shortcuts that help us to, making quick decisions. We tend to respond mechanically to the instruments of influence. These rules are used by compliance professionals, to manipulate us daily.

Reciprocation:

The rule of reciprocation; says that we try to repay in kind what the other person has provided us. When someone does us a favour, we tend to become obligated for its repayment. There is no human society that does not subscribe to this rule.  This rule possesses great, strength in producing a yes response. It makes no difference if you like the other person. If you perceive that a favour has been done, you.  will feel obligated to return it. Therefore by providing you with a small favour, before the actual request someone can get you to say yes to the original, intended request.

Interesting use of the rejection then retreat technique. While the initial request is likely to be rejected, the second, or the actual, intended request will be met, with a yes response. The rejection of the first will be seen, as a favour done to us, making us more prone to saying yes to the second intended request.

Commitment and consistency:

We all have an obsessive desire to be consistent with our stated beliefs. Once we have taken a stand, we will encounter personal and internal pressures to behave consistently with our commitments. These pressures will justify our earlier decision. We all fool ourselves repeatedly to keep our thoughts and beliefs with what we have already done or decided. A high degree of consistency is indicative of integrity, rationality and honesty.

Most of the time consistency is valued and should be, without which life would become erratic and disjointed. It offers us the luxury of not overthinking, to weigh the pros and cons in a complicated, life situation. However, solely relying on consistency makes us impervious to reason.

The force that exploits the power of consistency is the power of commitment. If we take a stand, then we have a natural tendency to behave stubbornly consistently even if we have enough reasons not to. We will always find reasons why something has to be done, despite all the contrary evidence.

Social Proof:

The degree to which we deem something to be good or correct depends upon how others see it. We have all seen the best selling or fastest-selling product. If we are unsure of ourselves, we look around for validation from others and let that determine our actions. The same force is at play when someone has an accident and gets no help when there are many bystanders. In this case, each person looks at others to the extent of help required, while trying to appear poised and unflustered himself. The person in an accident is likely to get help when there are only a few people around. The second dominant aspect of social proof is that of uncertainty. When people are uncertain, they look at others to guide their actions.

Liking:

As a rule, we tend to say to requests from someone we like. What are the factors that make us like someone more than others?  Physical attractiveness is a generally accepted factor as we assign values such as talent, kindness, intelligence and honesty with good looking people. It is disturbing to note that good looking criminals get a lighter sentence. It seems that the judicial system also is not immune to good looks. The second factor is that of similarity. We like people who are similar to us. By increasing similarity, in terms of openness, background, or personality we can make ourselves more likeable. Then comes giving compliments to others. Praise complements and flattery even if not true makes us helpless to the charms of the other person. Cooperation is another factor, solving a problem together or being on the same team affects how we are liked or are, appreciated by someone.

Authority:

We all have a deep sense of authority written inside us. We tend not to defy its wishes despite the physical and emotional turmoil it may cause us. Between following orders, or conscience, the former wins hands down. For authority to work the appearance is enough. We all are more vulnerable to the symbols of authority than the substance of the same. Titles are an example of the same. If we see someone with a prefix of professor or doctor we are inclined to believe the person. The clothes, grooming, and appearance of a person are all factors in the amount of authority he or she will be given. It, therefore, becomes important that we look the part along with being the part.

Scarcity:

The idea of a potential loss has a larger role in human decision making than a similar profit. Limited availability real or perceived has the power to influence human decision making. This is especially true for flawed items in case of collectables like stamps or sports cards. When we hear the words limited edition it is this force that is at play. Same is the case in one time deals that many of us have heard of. The scarcity principle works on the pretext of the loss of freedom for decision-makers. We as humans are psychologically averse to this loss, and hate our choices being limited. Be it goods, services, economic freedoms or information scarcity rule is used extensively to make something more desirable. It produces a psychological response from us to pursue the possession of the scarce commodity. We tend not to think if the thing is of the real value to us or not.

Conclusion:

The weapons of influence are neither good nor bad. They are tools that used ethically can help the practitioner and the public. Our heightened sense of awareness is a tool against these if they are used against our wishes. The book is a must-read for all. Whatever we do, we are eventually selling our personal brand. How we do it, contributes towards our career, business and development. Sales and marketing is something that each of us must aspire to master to progress in life and career.

We not only negotiate with others but many times with ourselves. Here to the book has the potential to help. Commitment and taking stand are examples of the same. Not only must we be very selective in taking a stand and committing ourselves. It must be with much deliberation. How we present ourselves, in terms of our appearance, grooming and demeanour to has a role to play in how others see us. Lastly, we should be wary of taking favours to form others without any reason.

Photo by Heather Ford on Unsplash