My journey to an ISB admit
The date was 18 Nov 2022 I had a terrible sleep, and the night before was made up of anxious moments. My result for the Indian School of Business, round one for the year 23-24 was to be announced today. As I wore my shoes for my morning run, my mind drifted way back to the last two years, and how everything had led me to this day.
I have always been on a constant quest for self-improvement, this started with my passion for reading. What started with fiction in my adolescence slowly became a habit. Later I started reading a lot of self-help books. I was under the impression that by merely reading and understanding these books I would improve and become a better version of myself, but after some time it stuck with me that without action on my part, all the knowledge that I sought to gather was just in my head, with no practical application.
The quest for action led me to pursue an online MBA and my PMP certification. I then took it upon myself to try and crack the GMAT exam and apply to a top business school in India. I had no illusions about my academic capability and was fully aware that I was no genius when it came to studies; however, I persisted with my desire to test myself on this new challenge.
As I started to gather more information about the exam, the realization dawned upon me that there was a glut of information available on the internet. Information overload can be detrimental to progress. The number of YouTube videos on GMAT and GMAT prep is astounding."How I cracked GMAT in 30 days “ is a typical headline. Though in no way am I suggesting that the information they contain is false, I submit that every individual is different and, one has to find his own way of studying. Only trying to emulate someone else's method may send you on the wrong trajectory.
On my part, I began revising concepts that I had studied about 20 years ago. I backed myself to prevail and pushed hard to complete my syllabus. Sadly I had to cut down on my exercise, causing me to put on some weight much to my dismay. Finding two to three hours daily, with office and home commitments also was a challenge. It was going to be tough I realised, how tough I was to find out.
After revising the concepts, I started practising questions from the official guide, solving about 20 to 30 questions every day. Solving questions correctly gave me a false sense of progress. I also made the cardinal mistake of not making an error log to find any conceptual gaps. I should have practised a mock exam to assess my starting ability, but I did not take a practice exam, fearful of what I might find. This error was to haunt me in the days to come. The aim of my studies slowly changed from preparing for the GMAT to finishing the official guide questions as soon as possible. I hoped that only official guide questions would be good enough to see me through. Finally, with 20 days to go, I practised for my first mock exam and scored a 550. It was a shocking reality check with less than three weeks to go, and panic set in. I spent the next three weeks trying to cover up my weak areas and gave a few more mocks and my score marginally improved to 580. I had too much at stake to miss the attempt and I went ahead with the exam. The exam was tougher than I had thought and after er the first 10 questions I wanted to stop and run away. It had been a while since I was tested like this and found myself sweating in the air-conditioned exam centre. Somehow I kept plugging one question at a time and when the result came I had scored 620.
Though I was dejected at not scoring higher, the score was decent for my first attempt. I gathered my thoughts to begin my studies again, something I was not looking forward to.
The cycle of studies began again, stealing a few minutes during my office hours and trying my best to give time to my family, who by that time had also become emotionally invested in my journey. It was at this time that I moved to a different city as part of my job, this move took away additional time from me, much to my resentment. This time I maintained an error log and monitored the hours I put in every day. I also revised my mistakes regularly and was confident of a score improvement of at least 50 to 60 points. I particularly enjoyed some binge study sessions when studies continued till late at night coupled with copious amounts of Red Bull inside me. Since I was practising questions on an online platform with timing, I did not again practice mock exams, supremely confident that the effort and the hours that I was putting in would see me sail through. On my second attempt, I went to the exam hall feeling good and confident, guessed a few answers and was confident that I had done well. As the score flashed post the test, I felt that someone had given me a knockout punch in my stomach. It was a meagre 500. One year of effort and this is what I had to show for it? Numbed I walked out of the exam hall, dreading to inform my loved ones waiting for my call. Tears formed in my eyes as I sat on the pavement outside and watched the world around me. Why did you have to start this process? I asked myself with self-doubt raising its ugly head inside me.
After a month of no studies, I began again, this time hardened by previous attempts I concentrated not only on solving questions but also I gave more mock exams. The scores in my mocks ranged from 630 to 720 so I assumed that I was improving. Closer to exams I started with my running and exercise. The break from exercise had become too long and I was not happy seeing myself totally go out of shape. Finally, the exam day came. The mind was still playing games with me telling me how unprepared I was, and in no condition to give the paper. I realised that I would never be fully prepared and so exam. I took the exam with nothing to lose. I had a good job and my family was taken care of, failing again would not have any effect on my life, I told myself. How I wish that I had scored an exceptional 700 +score in my third attempt it was not to be. What I scored was an average score. Though with a 500 on the last attempt I was more relieved than happy with this score, now at least I had a base to build upon.
I was not sure that this score was good enough to secure admission in any top-tier school, least of all the Indian School of Business which was my dream B school. I submit that I am often guilty of asking too many people for insights and opinions. Too much input causes analysis paralysis. Some feedback that I got was that the score is low and the possibility of admission anywhere is remote. Even if there was a minute chance I had to take it and so started my application process for various business schools.
Filling out a business school application is a daunting task and writing your application essay takes a long time. It is not an easy task to fill your last two decades of work experience in about 500 to 600 words.
After submitting the application I waited for the shortlist for the interview. IIM Calcutta was the first to respond with the date of the interview, no communication from ISB. Diwali 2022 came and all I did was scroll through my email waiting for the interview shortlist. The date of the physical interview elapsed with no communication from the institute and I was dejected for not having received any mail for the interview. Finally, I got an invite for an online interview and suddenly things did not seem so bleak. With only a week to go, I prepared for both my ISB and IIM Calcutta interviews. I practised a mock interview also to iron out some of my shortcomings.
IIM Calcutta interview was not as per my expectations and being a stressful interview I was grilled a lot I was sure that it had gone badly, and I had no time to reflect and feel bad as the very next day ISB interview was scheduled. The next day was better with the panel asking questions regarding my work and leadership. There were some current affairs too, but it was something that I had prepared. I felt that I had done a better job in my ISB interview. Now I waited for 18 Nov 2022 the day ISB results for round 1 were to be announced.
On 18 Nov I ran longer than usual in the morning somehow trying to calm my mind and trying to forget that today I will finally see the fruits of my last year and eight months. By 11 am I started becoming anxious and called the ISB office only to be informed that results would be announced only by evening. The rest of the day was spent in front of my computer screen waiting for the confirmation mail. As the day turned to night the anxiousness increased and hope started to fade away. Finally, at night 2130 I got an email from ISB, offering me admission to their PGP program.
Here I was with something I could have only dreamt of two years ago. The temptation to think very highly of myself did come to me; however, there also was a humble realisation as to how fortunate I was. Somehow everything had clicked and a dream that had seemed a farfetched possibility some time ago had come true.
The journey of lifelong learning is just about beginning, and many more challenges wait as I move ahead. The biggest takeaway for me has been the importance of action in life. You need to back your thoughts and ideas with action to achieve anything. Anything new will scare and intimidate you; it’s ok to be scared and anxious but you need to continue with your hard work and persistence and not allow your mind to play games with you. It is good to be smart but better to be bold because by being bold you will try to achieve things that smartness dictates are beyond your reach lastly you can never give up for you have no idea what tomorrow may bring.
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| Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash |
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