THE MARSHMALLOW TEST
THE
MARSHMALLOW TEST
Walter
Mischel(1930-2018)
“Offer
a marshmallow to a small child along with the choice of having it immediately
or waiting for some time to have two of them.”
1.
I have never liked self-control in fact if I
like something be it anything to eat, drink or have my favourite cigarette, I
do it right away. I am sure we all have had moments when that chocolate cake or
glasses of cold beer have proved irresistible. How many times in our lives we
have made choices in our life on an impulse only to regret when sanity returned
to our senses. These questions have plagued my mind for some time. The
temptation of immediate self-gratification is something most of us have faced
one time or the other. Is there something we can do about it? How important is
this for our children to learn to have a system that delays this gratification.
Questions like these made me dive into the book called "The Marshmallow
Test" by Walter Mischel, who has over 50 years carried numerous experiments on psychological research where the ability to delay gratification in young
children have been linked to them doing well in later years of their lives
across all aspects. The complex subject is made very simple and language is easy
to grasp.
2.
The first part deals with enabling
self-control where the readers are introduced to the concept of Hot brain and
the Cool brain. The former is the limbic system located in the top cortex of
the brain stem developed early in our evolution. This ancient brain is
responsible for basic urges and desires like fear, hunger, emotion and
sex. The urge to satisfy a need is more important
for this brain, the hot brain does not pause or reflect or worry about long
term consequences of its action.
3.
The other brain is the cool brain which is cognitive,
complex, and reflective. Located in the prefrontal cortex this is the part
where that comes to play when we are making calculated decisions particularly
related to self-control. Here the author makes a very important point that is
reiterated through the book which is the effect of stress. How stress
attenuates one and accentuates the other brain. In other words, if our brain
was a car the hot brain would be the engine and the cool brain the brakes. All
our life the dynamic dance of these two brains decides our choices and actions,
and to a great extent the quality of our life.
4.
Various techniques and strategies are explained
in the second part that will help us in achieving delayed gratification. The
foremost being the If-Then technique
where our minds are already ready for the temptations that we may come across
and by practising we are activating the hot brain to take action and resist.
Having a growth mindset and a positive self-image is most helpful and is
discussed in great detail by the author.
5.
The executive function of the cool part of
the brain that is set of cognitive skills that help us control our impulses,
action and emotion is elaborated in great detail. Here the importance of having
an optimistic outlook along with a healthy belief system is given paramount
importance. High self-worth, high expectations and constructive use of failure
can help us achieving delayed gratification.
6.
Furthermore, the author goes on to explain
the value to thinking rationally across a wide variety of fields from finance
to personal health and also relationships. Painful emotions are dealt with in a
separate chapter where it is advised to have a distanced perspective when
dealing with rejection or loss. This is more so important when we are in a
situation of conflict and we do not want the hostility to spiral out of
control. The people with low self distance behaved adaptively to conflicts
which often escalated especially if the other person is hostile. The author
calls it to fly in the wall approach of looking at any situation.
7.
Some of the most impressive findings of the
The marshmallow test is the protection of oneself from own personal
vulnerabilities, this is more applicable to people having High rejection
sensitivity. Empirical studies have ascertained
the fact that people with effective delay mechanisms were protected against the
negative effects of chronic anxiety and rejection for them did not become a
self-fulfilling prophecy. Similar findings have been put across in dealing with
criticism, in fact being sensitive to criticism along with the use of one's
cognitive faculties in many cases been found to be extremely helpful.
8.
The author talks about in psychological
immune system that each and everyone has where we having an inflated image
about self fortifies us against chronic stress and terrible news., preserving
our sense of being good, smart and worthy. Seeing us in a positive light helps
us having a high degree of self-esteem and living happier lives. We are also
cautioned against the excess tilt of the above as this may at times result in
being having too much confidence in our abilities at times make us make rash
decisions. There are numerous examples of this in business, finance sports to
name a few.
9.
The role of motivation is revealed to the
reader when it is shown that persons of high grit and dedication in one field
are found often acting with utmost foolishness in other disciplines. Will
paralysis and will fatigue too is discussed with various mental models
suggested to deal with the same. Here again how we feel about ourselves and our
belief system about our ability play an important role in determining what when
will we give in or give up. The importance of having goals, effort and grit,
our social environment and the models that we follow has a direct bearing on
our willpower, this is brought about by various examples.
10. The conclusion is the summary of the book along with various changes and
initiatives in the education system that have been studied and undertaken by
the author. The plasticity of the human mind is dwelt briefly along with the
latest ongoing studies in this subject. The continuous evolution of our brain
in our life is explained in great detail. The most pertinent question that the
author asked is “Who we are and what we want to be?”
11. For
someone who has been quick to give in most of the time and is hardly a beacon
of self-control, this book is a fresh perspective on the workings of the human
mind. Valuable inputs regarding keeping young children away from stress have
been an important take away as a parent. The knowledge of the hot and cool
systems that are working at times can explain a lot of choices that we make in
our lives and the strategies and mental models that have been explained deserve
to be tried out in personal life. That said we must become the best version of
ourselves and I believe that whatever the stage of life we are in it's our job
to always try to be better than we were earlier .hopefully this book will help
us achieve a few steps in becoming a better and more successful human being.
